Thursday, June 5, 2008

A Letter to the makers of Slip n' Slide

Below is my letter to Wham-o toys about the best invention ever - the slip n' slide. Slip n' slides are fucking totally sweet and if you disagree you can walk your ass into oncoming traffic.



Wham-o Mfg. Co.
Customer Service
835 East El Monte Street
San Gabriel, CA 91778


Dear Mr. Wham-o,

My name is Dooshy and I heart slip n' slides. I have been a slip n' slide enthusiast for many years now. I just wanted to take the time to write to you to let you know how much happiness your product has given my family, my friends, and especially myself.

I feel so fortunate to have grown up with slip n' slides. My friend Vladimir is Russian. Back in the motherland they did not have slip n' slides. No wonder the USSR always seemed so bleak! Anyways, Vladimir got to experience a slip n' slide for the first time last weekend. I have never seen him happier. If you ever want to sell your product in Russia, I thought of a great idea for a slip n' slide commercial.

Check it out.

You show a bunch of Russian government officials at a meeting in the Kremlin. They all look very serious. Two of the guys look very anxious and keep checking their watches. Finally, the meeting is adjourned and these two guys run outside to the back yard of the Kremlin where they have a slip n' slide set up. Then the rest of the commercial is just them enjoying the slip n' slide. Also, they are wearing those Russian furry winter hats. Oh, and the slip n' slide should be red and look just like the Soviet flag.

If you do not mind, I would like to learn more about history of this great product. Also, what does the future hold for slip n' slide? Are you working on any cool new models? Any fancy new adaptations? I would love to hear about any slip n' slide news. I think you guys should start selling slip n' slide accessories. That way you could build a totally sweet, mega awesome slip n' slide.

Anyways, keep up the good work. I am sure you get tons of fan mail about slip n' slides, and I appreciate you taking the time to read my letter. If everybody owned a slip n' slide, I doubt we would have any wars; just a whole lot of grass stains.


Regards,

Dooshy McDoosherton
Slip n' Slide enthusiast since 1987