Doosh of the Day

Joseph Linello has MAJOR LABEL INTEREST. He has serious emotional pain. No one understands him. He loves Creed, Jesus, and himself. He is either a sarcastic genius or the greatest douche of all time.
Judge for yourself here.



It is not just his incredible voice, which is a toneless mix between Scott Stapp and Eddie Vedder. Its like the members of Creed all shit in a bucket after a long night of eating laxatives, borscht, enchilladas, and glass shards.

He is the cup in 2 Girls 1 Cup.

His true genius lies in his lyrics. He speaks the truth about relationships:

No one understands me,
You can't feel my pain.
No one understands me,
Life is one big game

(now the music gets really hardcore)
but I lose the game for yooooouuuuuu
what I say is truuuuuuuuueeee

No one understands me,
my heart hurts real baaaad.
no one understands me,
and that makes me saaaad.




How can one cope with this sheer brilliance? My unworthy ears melt, my inhibitions dissolve, my panties moisten. He speaks directly to my soul. He has MAJOR LABEL INTEREST.

My God, Joey Linello is the next Bob Dylan.

He has recently blessed his adoring fans by answering some questions:

Q: "Dude, are you for real?"

A: Like I said, Jesus blessed me with great looks, and the ability to rock. But, also I have had a lot of pain in my life. The emotional kind. For example, when I was a teenager, my parents really didn't understand me at all. That pain is real. For most people, being a teenager is all proms and parties and stuff. Sure, I went to prom (actually, I was prom king my senior year) and I went to a few keggers. But, there was also emotional pain. They didn't understand that. SO YES, THIS IS FOR REAL.

Here are some more incredibly awesome lyrics:

We said that we would wait till marriage
But still, I touched your bosoms.
We would french kiss at the movies
I'd buy you roses by the dozens

But then some loser caught your eye
Some guy who doesn't pray to Jesus

He has no major label interest
So what could you see in him?

can he flex his pecs like me?
can he rub your bosoms like me?

I'll have a private jet
I'll have a huge jacuzzi
A mansion like a palace
But you won't be there with me

Jesus will judge you for leaving me!

The Work Doosh

Another important doosh that we need to highlight is the one that shows up in the work place.

The work doosh is another category of the "self-righteous half-retarded doosh" that Chico brought up in his previous post.

The Work Doosh is usually a fuck-tarded moron who will make you dread going to work in the morning for fear of having to see his prissy face and monogrammed shirts.


We all know the type. The Work Doosh goes out of his way to brown nose, and eat out of your boss's ass in the hope of getting ahead. This is worse in DC where there is a direct correlation between incompetence and self-importance.

If you work with such a person, you'll find yourself repeatedly looking for places where the doosh cannot spawn. Any such location, including hiding underneath your desk, will bring you happiness. Yes, the Work Doosh is that bad.