Why do they always make jews into dorks?

I recently asked myself why movies/tv shows always depict Jews as being huge dorks? I mean I thought we controlled Hollywood? WTF!

As a member of the tribe this is very hurtful. Especially after some schmucks swatted my yarmulke and gave me a vicious titty twister.

Let's take a look at a few prime examples:

• Paul Pfeiffer from The Wonder Years - In addition to being Kevin Arnold's lifelong best friend, Paul has thick glasses, gets good grades, is uncoordinated, and is allergic to everything.
  
  

Why couldn't Kevin's Jewish friend be a super athlete? There have been tons of great Jewish athletes over the years. For example: Sandy Koufax and.......... Sandy Koufax.

• Lawrence "Chunk" Cohen from The Goonies - Chunk is the quintessential fat kid. He is obsessed with Baby Ruth candy bars and his friends are always raggin' on him asking him to do his fat kid dance (the Truffle Shuffle). He is also known for making up ridiculous stories. I mean why couldn't they have made the fat kid more like Augustus Gloop from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? Don't you think it is time we made ze Germans into the fat losers? I mean they kind of owe us...
  
  

• Charlie "Fink" Finklestein from Beerfest - Plays the nerdy scientist who is only on the beer drinking team for his scientific knowledge of beer. He wears a yarmulke that keeps getting knocked off and thrown around.
  Why can't the Jewish character also be the All-American, popular guy who gets all the chicks......................................................................

Which leads me to my next section. Despite controlling Hollywood, Jews have not been able to create cool Jewish characters. What is so strange is that some of the coolest and biggest players of all time.... are Jewish! For example:

• Arthur "Fonzie" Fonzarelli from Happy Days- Leather jacket, double thumbs up, catch phrases, mad bitches, and the ability to start the juke box with one tap. Basically the definition of cool. The Fonz was played by Jew-boy Henry Winkler.





• Gene Simmons from Kiss - Gene Simmons (real name Chaim Witz), besides being a rock-god, he has allegedly slept with over 4,600 women.





• David Lee Roth from Van Halen - Another rocker "Diamond Dave" is also renowned for banging tons of chicks. Unfortunately, he is clearly a total doosh.
  
  




• Ron Jeremy - Ron Jeremy (real name Ron Hyatt) has a masters degree in special education...... and is the most famous porn star of all time. He can fellate himself.
  
  

There is hope. As Seth Rogen (tribe member) pointed out in Knocked Up, Eric Bana plays one bad-ass Jew in Munich.

Therefore I am proposing a Jewish superhero. Not a joke like in that movie The Hebrew Hammer, but a real superhero.

Perhaps by day he is a mild-mannered accountant.

But by night he beats the shit out of thieves, and then takes the stolen money and makes sounds investments in a diverse portfolio using his super market sense.

That should get rid of all those ridiculous stereotypes!