. . . ahhh Staten Island. Where would this blog be without you?
. . . ahhh Staten Island. Where would this blog be without you?
Viva la revo'doosh'ion!
Q: "Dude, are you for real?"
A: Like I said, Jesus blessed me with great looks, and the ability to rock. But, also I have had a lot of pain in my life. The emotional kind. For example, when I was a teenager, my parents really didn't understand me at all. That pain is real. For most people, being a teenager is all proms and parties and stuff. Sure, I went to prom (actually, I was prom king my senior year) and I went to a few keggers. But, there was also emotional pain. They didn't understand that. SO YES, THIS IS FOR REAL.
Here are some more incredibly awesome lyrics:
The females of the species were much more uniform in their appearance, though they were often seen wearing giant hats, which suggested an attempt to either disguise themselves as Speedy Gonzalez in a sombrero or else to appear like Carmen Sandiego.
A ridiculous Carmen Sandiego-type Hat
Thongs and boobage were frequently visible. However those female douches were generally "fugly", leaving this author merely at "half-mast."
Female Southern Douchebags
It is believed that the strict adherence to this retarded dress code is a form of Peacocking, wherein douchebags must out-douche their rivals to impress and later nail potential mates.
Finally, two bizarre and incredibly douchy behaviors were observed:
1) Slap fights (we're not shitting you), where plastered Douchebag males slap each other as hard as possible in the face.
This baffles our team. The ritual appeared to accomplish nothing, yet involved a large crowd of cheering douches. We speculate that this skill may be useful in piloting a sailboat, managing a trust fund, or owning a plantation. Much more research is needed in this area.
2) Piss-trough sliding.
Males were observed collecting money in exchange for sliding in a trough full of piss. As they are mostly wealthy and enjoy exploiting minorities and poor people, it is hard to ascertain what the exact motivation for this particular ritual was. Further observation is again required.
You know those guys who claim, “9-11 was an inside job.” Well those guys are the recipients of the number 14 spot of biggest douches of all time. I assume that these guys are so consumed with this conspiracy because they have spent so much time playing World of Warcraft that they can no longer differentiate between fiction and reality. I mean really, don’t they have something better to be passionate about?
Black mamba was at a protest in the DC area against the war in
These douches also have a counterpart, the douches that think that the Jews were behind the attack and that they evacuated all the Jews from the buildings. This just goes to show that the universe of douches is large and growing by the day. Enjoy!
For more proof, you can see this official al-Qaeda spokesman confirm that they, in fact, carried out the 9-11 attacks.
9/11 Conspiracy Theories 'Ridiculous,' Al Qaeda Says
PS: Black mamba happens to think that it was actually these little bastards who committed the atrocities on 9-11.