Body Spray

Axe/Tag Body Spray........Cause You Are A Dooshbag

I think it goes without saying that people who wear Axe/Tag Body Spray suck balls. Only a dude who is a total dooshbag would be ignorant enough to be duped into buying body spray. The manufacturer created a brand new market by selling body spray, which was formerly just a feminine product, to men.

The real genius - and a testimony to the level of dooshdom that exists in our society - was how these bastards were able to market it. Basically they managed to successfully re-brand body spray (at least in the eyes of dooshes) by showing commercials where hot women throw themselves at dirty-looking guys who use the spray.

The message: You're an unattractive dude. But if you apply this feminine body spray, hot chicks will want to nail you.

This is not the first time a manufacturer has used this method to sell a feminine product to men. Back in the days when women used more hair product than men, someone started marketing hair mousse to men. In the commercial the slogan was, "Are you man enough for mousse?"

This, of course, was total nonsense. No one says, "Are you feminine enough for our penile implants?"

Yet this works. What else could marketers convince dooshes to buy?



Around the world, dooshbags are dousing themselves in body spray and mousse. Thankfully, these products are flammable, leaving open the chance for eventual divine intervention to bring the world back into balance.